All over the world, English teachers are trying to ban the use of fallacies because they claim that since fallacies are not a proper form of argument, they must not be used. They are obviously wrong. Nowadays, fallacies are extremely commonly used therefore it has become a proper form of argument. Either you use fallacies, or you go learn to speak another language, because the English language does not need anyone who refuses to use fallacies. Even my mom said that, "If God didn't want us to use fallacies, he wouldn't have put that idea into our heads in the first place". Trust me, my mom is always right. My dad said so. If you don't believe me, then you're just stupid. Only ugly people think that fallacies are fallacious, so you there, you're ugly. If we force fallacies to remain fallacious, the English language will cease to evolve and no one will want to learn it any more. Then, English speakers will go extinct, and everyone on Earth will burn to death. Do you want to burn to death? No? I told you I'm awesome.
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My mom has yet to say the phrase "If God didn't want us to use fallacies, he wouldn't have put that idea into our heads in the first place", because she doesn't know what fallacies are. Yet. BUT, my dad does claim that my mom is always right. *Hrmph*
"Then English speakers will go extinct and everyone on Earth will burn to death" = Slippery slope
ReplyDelete"If you don't believe me, then you're just stupid'" = Ad hominem
""English teachers are trying to ban the use of fallacies because... they must not be used" = Begging the question
By the way Kitty, was this written as a satire?
Nice job! This was entertaining to read.
"Either you use fallacies, or you learn a different language..."
ReplyDelete-False Dichotomy
"Trust me, my mom is always right. My dad said so."
-Appeal to Ignorance
"Only ugly people think that fallacies are fallacious..."
-Red Herring
This piece is very "effective", especially when you talk about how your mom HAS to be right if your dad says so. Beautifully done :3